What isn’t said

Struggling today to stay even neutral, never mind positive. I feel like I want to scream & cry & it just won’t come out.
I want to burst. My chest wall & head is at the point of simply exploding. I want to tell people they don’t ‘get it’. I’m not doing this for attention. I’m well aware other people have ‘worse off’ lives. That my worries are insignificant… that I need some perspective but all that does is make me feel insignificant! Weak & right now really really pissed off!
My frustration with myself presents as anger. I’m easily irritated. I’ve lost trust in some people I thought I could trust. I know you do not understand. In a way I do not want you to. Not to be in a head like mine but at the same time… show me some respect. You supposedly ‘know me’. I feel like I can’t help but cling to comments made. They fester inside my head growing bigger & bigger. What did they mean? Is that how they view me? Should I see myself like that?
This is not my default safe feeling. This is anything but a safe feeling. I just want to cry it out. Really cry it all out.

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