I so desperately want to be content with myself. To like me- my physical and mental self-for me.
My hatred for my shape and size just now means I rarely believe any compliments about anything physical. Like they must be blind or just plain crazy- or both!!!! Compliments about my personality are always taken with an inch or more of suspicion. There are things I strive to be. Qualities I’ve created to please others. To be liked by them.
It’s these comments- positive & negative- that I’ve been searching for & using. I’ve been letting them determine my feelings for a long time. From my teenage years or younger most likely.
I’ve been told by seeking acceptance from others-I’m giving the control to them so I don’t have it. I’ve turned into someone so self conscious. I don’t have to like me if someone else does. So that it’s something I don’t have to decide on or trust. No decision making & we know that’s something I dread!
The problem is I’ve valued what others think more than myself for so long now, that I’m finding it hard to change. I need to learn to trust myself, to have confidence in myself & to not give a shit what anyone else thinks about me because I need to learn it’s my OWN, & ONLY my opinion that matters! I am determined.
I will better myself for my own mental healths sake. ❤
I need to take the next step without anyone else pushing me or complimenting or insulting me. Especially now that I’m single again. Other people’s opinions are just that. And for right now they can shove it. (Thanks but no thanks 😂)
My voice counts.
Only mine right now.
I will be comfortable in my own skin ❤