Erm….ever get that feeling when your not sure what your feeling…. like someone says how are you & you don’t know how you are? I feel a bit lost today. A little numb & not entirely sure why.

Last week was a little rough, this week I’m down to just a couple of rough days. I’ve had to use my Digipill audio quite a lot. It’s helped me get some sleep.

Counselling on Monday. Pretty sure it’s my second last session I’m allowed on the NHS. Don’t know if I’m just overthinking or panicking but I am worried that without the counselling I could slip. She brings me back to zero. Sets me tasks. Explains things in a way I understand. Thanks to her I’m able to recognise things a little earlier. I understand things a little clearer.

It amazes me the benefits I’ve had from counselling when I was soooo against it for so many years. Thinking it was rubbish. I was so wrong…. if I can say one thing to anyone suffering with mental health issues- it’s seek help.

Get counselling.

It’s truly turned me around. I’ve had years of pills & been on just about every anti-depressant going (no lie) & I’ve done alternative treatments as well going to Jan de Vries & always slipped back. Whilst I still take my venlafaxine & b6, my counsellor has given me some clarity that I never thought I could achieve.

I can say I’m recovering & actually believe it. I just don’t want it to end yet.

I’m not ready.

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