Stuck

IMG_1796.PNGFeeling stuck again. It’s like what do I do with my time that gets me out the flat. I think stuck is up there with one of the worst feelings with depression.

The feeling of not knowing what to do and being scared of doing the wrong thing or being criticised for doing it wrongly. The lack of motivation. It’s all very well thinking you’ll do something but actually doing it is a problem.

For me I don’t know which direction to take with my life. What to do. Where to go. When to. How to go about change. I’m stuck.
I do also feel that things are changing around me that are out of my control. Like my counselling ending. That one is hitting me quite hard. She was my ‘safe space’. My one hour of unbottling my life and then having it explained and rationalised back to me. It scares me that it’s over. She’s been the only one I’ve been able to say anything and everything to in my entire life. I trust her and thats rare.

I’ve to wait and see a psychiatrist to review my medications.

I’m waiting to see an occupational therapist through Occ Health at work.

These changes don’t give me a what to do though.

What or who am I meant to be?!?

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