For many years I’ve suffered episodes of acute rage. I’ve always found it odd and hard to control. I may have a reason for it now. Doesn’t make it easier. It’s almost like a firework. The smallest thing can set me off. The smallest irritation. Something said, something done, the way I feel, any tiny little thing. It usually is something small making my response unreasonable.
It’s not logical. It’s not a reasonable response. It’s volatile. It comes and goes in such a short time period. Just like a firework. Up it goes, explodes & falls to the ground. Then I’ve left with this horrible feeling deep inside, almost of panic & heat, sometimes with the feeling of wanting to cry.
Sometimes I can control a little of it. I can stop myself from being physical, from saying something abusive & hurtful. Only sometimes though.
I hate it. 😡